As 2016 comes to a close, I can’t help but think that it was the year of goal slaying and of the extremely unexpected. Most of the things that hadn’t happened in 2015 and years previous happened. I came into 2016, heartbroken, a hot mess, trying to find my way, and more. But throughout all the blurriness and crazy nights that started to slow down. I picked up a lot of broken pieces, including this blog. I healed, I can’t say I’m fully healed but are we ever fully healed or not broken by something? But I’m in a much better place. I found God again and my purpose. And this, my site is definitely part of it. I’m still working on cleaning some messes I created last year or even the past two years. But I have the best intentions and things are slowly being put back together and new things are being lined up.
I always knew I had a purpose as to why I was here and what I’m here to do. But this year has not only clarified that but also help me redefine it. The live demos have become my second baby and I can’t wait to see where they continue to take me personally and the site. I want to have a variety of guests on in the next year and continue to grow as a chef and mixologist. Like anything, it hasn’t been easy. Thanks to my best friends and a few rough patches it all came together. And I’m beyond blessed with the feedback and love I get from the demos and grateful for all my guests who have come on. Also finding my church that’s so awesome helped and really wanted me to find God purpose for my life and He has def shown himself in my life and what I’m here for. I’m currently working on writing my goals personally and professionally for the next year and working on a bucket list. I have a lot to slay this next year and I’m very excited about it.
My love life, has been nothing short of disappointing lol JK. If anything I’ve had a ton more lessons. I took a few risks I never thought I’d have the balls to take. And although things aren’t perfect and I still think I have I have a long road to happiness or the person that I want being ready for me, if they will ever be. I’m not disappointed. I probably had one of the best summer flings (I don’t know what else to call it without getting in too deep or making it more complicated) of my life with someone I care a lot about. And now its winter and work and watching Arrow is my boyfriend. But I will say, having this fling and finding Jesus has definitely made more aware of my self worth. A year ago I was still giving myself away to someone, and well people who didn’t earn it. At least for once in my life I felt like I was with someone who never judged me and earned my love. But distance sucks and maybe timing is off. And I guess I’ll leave that there. And I’m back to keeping my options open and dating slowly. But my heart is mine for awhile. And it’ll take a lot to change that.
But as I mentioned, as much as I am far from where I need to be, there has been a ton of positives and progress. I’ve watched Arrow and The Flash long enough to somehow finally convince people to watch it, my demos have opened people eyes and have a reach far more than I realize sometimes.I tend to forget how much my translation shows on the screen. I’ve also had so many priceless opportunities to film and work at restaurants I could only dream of and its just the beginning. I’ve also been the most honest with who I am and who I’ve become on the blog and on screen, and have grown more confident. And learned to depend on myself more. I also think I’m on my way to being the best person I can be, finally. My life is far from perfect and I have a lot to work on get through still but mentally and emotionally I’m probably the strongest.
It is very true with a lot of pain comes growth and progress and I think I know what I want out of my life more than ever, not just in love but in general. And I don’t want to settle more than ever before. This year I started to travel to some places I said I would last year. I finally made it to DC solo after always pushing my ex in my last LTR. This year it was put on my heart to travel as much as I could even if it was at least 2 hours away. Little did I know I’d go on trips with my family where I discovered more things to share with you all I’ve ventured to Washington, DC by myself (blessed for that blog opp, thank you MegaBus), going to Pennsylvania to see my best friend and some friends who are like family and family, Boston, random trips for bridal shows I worked which included Long Island, and dropping by North Jersey, and more.
So sometimes lately I feel like I’ve been cheating on NYC with PA because I have so much love for it lately and my mini escapes out West. Of course I still go North and to NYC for special occasions or when a company car is involved but my heart and church is even West of me. But this year I want to travel more and as often as I can somehow, go back to Florida and Boston, finally make it to Nashville, Houston, and Austin. And that’s just the start. DC definitely tested me and was an amazing time, I wish I could’ve stayed longer. And the fact that I went to the White House when I did before it was blocked off due to all the terror activity that time was insane. But it was awesome and I saw how strong I was alone, once again by going. I definitely need to go back eventually. But this year one of the many goals I’ll be working on is to mark up as much of the USA map I can.
So I leave you all with that, I can honestly say I’ve learned to love God and trust in God, which is always a work in progress. Love myself and know my worth and what I bring to the table more than ever. I’ve learned to love my strengths and use my weaknesses to my advantage. I’ve been tested in every way possible, physically, mentally, emotionally and survived and come out stronger. I am not mad. I’ve learned to accept my geeky self and that I am one of a kind. I can’t wait to see what’s in store for myself as I grow as a person this year and what happens with the blog. But I can say its nice to know what I want. I’m thankful for so many positive and supportive souls in my life which make life so much easier.
I hope you all tune in or watch today’s demo, it’s going to be great! NYE and hair of the dog cocktails for the morning after. I have a great things in store for demos this coming year too and hoping to appear on other shows as well. Also I’m really working on maintaining and keeping up with this baby, so content will be back like it used to.
Also I’m looking for an intern or two so if you’re in college and interested email me! I’m also always up to adding new writers to the team!
With love and light xo