So another reflection has been a long time coming. The last one was back in August for my single-versary. I promise they won’t be all about dating but I fell like maybe telling my story can help other people. Cause us bossy, single ladies have to be in this together. Unfortunately, I wish I was writing this in full confidence saying I’m talking to someone and dating apps were definitely a thing of my past. But that is far from true, and honestly I’m on the fence on swiping again but I don’t think I have to. And I’ll explain that shortly. Also, to any of my friends or anyone who reads this who is in love and even married to their best friend, I am extremely jealous of you. But maybe Prince Charming gets distracted and doesn’t realize Cinderella is right there, in front of him. But anyway, I’ll continue before I go on another rant.
So as you all know I’ve been single for over 2 years now. And I think I’ve made all. if not every mistake in the book. Which honestly, I have no regrets because now more than ever I understand my worth. I still may be a hot mess and not have it all together but I’m highly motivated and driven, trying to make this my full time job, and even writing now before i go into work today. I know I am a force and unstoppable, I’m loyal as fuck (to all the wrong people), willingly give, and will be the most supportive girlfriend to the right one or someone who is ready. And won’t runaway, because even when they run they all come back but that’s not real and its annoying. And coming back means shit when they don’t change. I guess I really want effort for once in my life, someone who will actually try to court me. How many more frogs do I need? Also I’m sick of being someone’s option, I’m worth and deserve more than that. And there’s nothing like finding out your someone’s option when you want to be loyal to them and can actually see something with them but sometimes you have to save what was and remain friends. But it sure feels shitty as fuck.
So what does swiping have to do with this? I’ll put it out there, I am technically on both Tinder and Bumble but both apps aren’t on my phone anymore. I was swiping a bit again over the summer and I just found it to be a huge distraction. I’d start working, and take a swiping break and it just wasn’t fulfilling. People don’t talk really and as much as I am in touch with some of my newly single Tinder matches, the investment isn’t really there. But I guess some of them are still interested in what I’m doing cause we still follow each other. So as I said I’m still on so while you swipe, I probably come up. But in my profiles if you take the time to read them, I say I’m rarely on and my usernames on Instagram and Snapchat and surprisingly almost every month, and more when I first stopped swiping random guys were adding me from these apps. And honestly it shows a lot of effort and as much as I make it difficult for them. I think its pretty ballsy but they really get to know me because I’m very active on both networks.
Due to events that occurred this week, I was very tempted to download Tinder and/or Bumble again after kickboxing. But I’ve resisted, and I’m debating on taking some of these guys on the dates they’ve asked me to go on many times. As you guys now, I lock into my faith a lot lately and as much as I may think I know what I want now, I trust His timing. I still have a lot to work on myself and for once in my life I’m super invested in growing my baby and myself. I still have this misconception that I need a man supporting me to do this, which could start another rant but somethings need to stay private. I definitely don’t need anyone, well maybe my family (they think I’m crazy sometimes) and my lovely ladies that have been more prevalent in my life more than ever.
So with that being said, maybe its time to close some parts of some doors, and maybe open new doors and see what’s out there. I’m not sure if I’m completely ready but I’m sure I can get a few good stories out of it. So here’s to not being someone’s option, especially someone who I respect so very much and care about. Time to continue killing and growing this baby, I have a feeling this upcoming month, my birthday month of course is going to be interesting and hopefully no losses. Cheers to being a warrior and a survivor, staying strong and slaying, and maybe dating again. Who knows, maybe some people will step up to the plate when I least expect. POSITIVE VIBES <33333 XOXO
Okay, and not to be a tease but stay tuned, Lelo sent me another vibrator to review. So really, cheers to taking of yourself….