#SCBDReflection: Higher Standards and Meeting ‘The One’



It’s crazy to me that it is July already. We’re almost halfway through the year and so much has changed in my life. I came back to the religion, or better yet my relationship with God, that I love and it’s opened my eyes a lot. I’m still trying to embrace my period of singleness and resist dating and settling, and also just focus on building this babe and bettering myself. Although I’ve dated and kissed plenty of frogs, August marks  two years of being single. Sometimes I love it because it means I’m independent and I refuse to settle. But, it also means I haven’t met the man of my dreams yet–or maybe I have and timing was off. But, either way, I’m not there yet. It’s a scary realization, as I turn 27 this year and I constantly see marriages, engagements, and babies on my Facebook newsfeed. 

Dating is a crazy animal in itself. I’ve talked to guys who just want to Netflix and chill because they are so busy. Well guys, I’m busy too– EXCUSES. Brownie points if you take me on an actual date, like dinner. If you pay, you get even more points. It’s very sad, but some guys don’t pay even if it’s just for drinks. It just marks a true gentleman.


As I mentioned, a lot has changed for me this past month.  I think I realized it between my renewed journey with God and going to a friend’s engagement party last night.  I’ll admit, when I first started this single journey I just wanted to have fun. But the more I learn about loving myself and figuring out God’s plan for me, the more I want to just meet that person who can handle everything I’m about and not just enjoy someone for a few nights or waste time on dates that don’t go anywhere. That could be a whole other conversation in itself. Trust me, I’m still impressed when I’m taken out on a proper date. So please men, continue doing that. 

So here’s what I decided are qualities I will look for in my man:

  1. Not only will there be infatuation, but we will just work because it’s right. In other words, it’ll be a healthy, non-overbearing relationship. It’ll be a perfect balance, or at least one worth working on. 
  2. We will choose each other every day. No excuses like work or needing “space”. Because, as Nick Jonas says, “Space is just a word made up by someone who is afraid to get close.” How am I going to get to know a man if we don’t spend enough time together or get past the 21 questions stage?
  3. Call me old fashioned, but we’ll actually date properly. I’ve learned this the hard way. There is nothing fun about moving too fast with someone who you realize may be a possible partner, or at least has qualities you like. Chances are they are a player or “don’t know what they want” and it won’t work out anyway, so why hurt yourself? You deserve better, you’re worth it. 

I think I’ve covered it all. Maybe I can speak it into existence? I know what I want more than ever. I refuse to settle. Trust me, that is not easy when temptation is all over, especially on days when I’m tired and overworked and just want someone to be with. But I’m seriously trying to embrace this season of singleness, make myself better, build my kingdom, and just improve on all levels. 

I hope I helped any of you single people who read this. 

Just remember, you are worth it and deserve the best. Be patient. 

XO Sara




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